Do Overs

Do overs are pretty great, aren't they? You make a wrong turn, you just loop around and try again. You score poorly on a test, you get to retake it. You burn the toast, you get two new pieces of bread and pay more attention the second time around. And of course, the biggest do over of all, forgiveness.

That's what this blog is about today. I'm starting over. I kind of abandoned this blog a while back. I work part-time for a faith-based non-profit (say that five times fast). When I leave there, I pick up two of my favorite Short Ones (a great-nephew and -niece), and we hang out for a couple of hours. Then I go home and start dinner for my family. After dinner, I try to get some writing done on whatever my current WIP (work in progress) might be. Right now, there are three. So the blog was pretty far down the list of priorities. But with a tiny prod from a couple of friends, I'm giving it another try.

I don't promise any world-changing views or news. I won't even promise to blog on a regular basis, because I am, after all, the self-proclaimed World's Worst Blogger. Really.

What I can promise is a lot of random topics and, hopefully, a lot of smiles. You might have noticed the name of my blog is The Happy Heart. That's me. I try to find a bright spot in the darkest situation. I just believe life is too short to be miserable.

Don't get me wrong, everybody has an off day occasionally. Flat tires, spilled coffee (okay, that's a tragedy in my eyes), bad hair days (hello, I have naturally curly hair in one of the most humid states in the south), and the list goes on, all the way to losing a loved one. I've had pretty much all of those things in my life, including losing my parents--and by the way, it doesn't matter how old you or they are, it still hurts.

But in the face of bad days, whether it's spilled coffee or death, am I not immensely blessed? Do I not have innumerable reason to smile? Reason for my heart to be happy?

So let's see how this goes. I'll blog about whatever strikes my fancy (see, nothing earth-shattering). Hopefully, I'll make you smile once or twice.

Remembering and Pride

Within the past two years, I lost both my parents.  Some people said the usual, "Well, your dad/mom had a good long life."  Others pointed out, "He/She is in a much better place now."  Both of those things are true, and I take particular comfort in the latter, knowing they are in heaven with their Father.  Neither of those things, however, lessens MY loss.

On an almost daily basis, something will make me think of either or both of my parents.  It can be something big, like my daughter performing as the Tin Man in her school's production of The Wizard of Oz.  It may be something small, like the way my son gets tickled sometimes and he has this laugh that gets the rest of us going, laughing so hard we can't talk.  Sometimes, it's stupid things, like the day the door of my washing machine fell on my hand; yes, I'm fifty, but I still wanted my Mom to sympathize with me!

But a few weeks ago, while talking to my sister via email, she said something that made me think of Mom.  We were talking about my writing efforts, and my venture into the world of Amazon self-publishing.  My sister said, "You know, Mom would've loved your books, and would've been proud."

Now, I know what the Bible says about pride.  I don't believe I'm a proud or haughty person.  But to make Mom or Dad proud?  Now that's a different story.  Because, you see, in order to make Mom or Dad proud, you had to be doing something good.  Something special.  Something productive.

Each time I upload a new book, I find myself thinking, "I wish Mom were here to read this."  And I hope she'd be proud.

It's Not About the Money

I might have mentioned -- at least once or twice -- how much I love to write.  I used to joke and say, "If I could make a living at it, I'd sit and write all day!"  Well, I'm not quite up to "making a living", but I have been doing a lot of "sitting and writing" all day.  I'm still looking for a "real" job, but there is a part of me that wonders if that's not like asking God to send rain, then watering my lawn.

You see, I pray on a regular basis that this "writing thing", as I call it, works.  I want to be able to earn money doing the thing I love most in the world.  But today, I earned something on which I could never put a dollar value.

A friend posted a little status update about my books on Amazon.  She pointed out that we worship together, and that it's very exciting to see books by a Christian author -- especially one she knows personally -- on Amazon.  There were a couple of comments and "likes" and then there was THE comment.  The comment that made my heart race and my face heat up and brought tears to my eyes.  The comment was:


Christie had JUST told me about it Saturday... Said would help me with some of my own healing... Wish it was on NOOK.


I realized suddenly THAT'S what it's about.  It's not about money or fame.  It's about sharing my faith in God.  It's about God blessing me with a small amount of talent that I can use to bless others.  It's about using my gift to teach others, in some way, about God's love and mercy and grace and forgiveness and healing.


I find myself humbled that God has blessed me in this way.  I pray that He will continue to send this flow of words, and that I can, perhaps in my own little way, lead others to Him.

On My Way!

Well, a week after my two self-published books hit the "shelves" on Amazon, I can proudly say, for the first time in my life, that my love of writing has earned money.  Okay, it's not even enough for a full tank of gas at this point.  But it's a start.

I continue to pray on a daily -- well, hourly is more like it -- basis.  I pray that my husband and I have made the right decisions.  I pray for the flow of words to continue.  I still pray that, if it's God's will, that I find an actual job; and I don't believe it's wrong for me to pray that if I'm supposed to have a "real" job, that it be something I can be happy doing.

You see, I spent five years at a job with which I had a love-hate relationship.  I loved every single thing about the job except for one:  one of the owners.  This particular person could turn my normally positive attitude on its ear, making me angry, hurt and frustrated by her constant criticism.  Don't get me wrong; I believe we all learn from constructive criticism.  Destructive criticism, however, only damages.

The longer I stayed at that job, the more I found my anger affecting my very walk with God.  It is difficult, if not impossible, to have a heart that is right with God when you are constantly bitter, hurt and angry.  Perhaps I wasn't strong enough, or good enough, I truly don't know.  All I know is that, since leaving that job, walking away from that anger, I have found my heart -- my happy heart again.

So in the midst of financial struggles, I thank God every day for leading me back to myself.  I thank Him for the opportunity to follow this dream.  And I ask for His blessing on this journey.

A New Endeavor

For most of my life -- really since I learned to put pen to paper -- I've been aware of two things:  1) all I really want to do is write; and 2) people are always telling me I should write.  I'm a self-proclaimed Word Nerd.  I love reading words, writing words, making words up, stringing words together to mean something!  And somewhere along the line, with all modesty, I came to believe that I do, in fact, have something of a gift with the written word.  Without a doubt, I say plainly, that gift is from God.


About a year ago, after a lot of prayer and discussion with my husband, I quit my job.  My reason for quitting a good job in a horrible economy is fairly simple:  life is too short to work for a crazy person.  Seriously, the mental anguish I went through in trying to deal with a woman who is incredibly controlling and often unreasonable and irrational was having a negative effect on my home life.  I frequently came home angry or in tears.  By the very name of my blog, angry and tearful are just not who I am, nor who I want to be.


For the first few months, I just enjoyed being a stay-at-home mom.  Then our health insurance began being deducted from my husband's check.  Ouch.  So I started looking for a job.  And while I was looking for a job, I began to pray.  And write.  And pray and write some more.

I prayed for a job in which I could be happy.  I prayed for God to direct my steps in my search.  I also prayed for the wisdom to see the door when He opened it for me.  And I prayed -- and this was a totally new prayer for me -- that if He wanted me to use the gift He gave me for His glory, that God would help me find a way.

I began writing a few short stories that soon became not-so-short.  I also began work on a book.  Romance, of course.  (Insert happy face here, lol.)  And I prayed a lot more.

So here I am, a year after quitting a "real job".  I've published two books for Kindle on Amazon.  I've only sold two copies of one of them.  It's a start.

"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." (Colossians 3:17)  That's what I'm trying to do.  I want to use the gift God gave me to bring glory to Him.

Role Models

Recently, my daughter was watching a reality show on TV about little girls participating in "beauty" pageants.  After watching these little girls be spray-tanned, manicured, primped and fluffed until they were no longer recognizable as children, looking more like miniature prostitutes in some cases, one mother seemed to have a "lightbulb moment".  She said she didn't want her daughter to grow up thinking her value was based on her looks, and said, "This is her last pageant."

As the mother of a young daughter, I am painfully aware of the lack of decent role models for young girls.  Well, I should qualify that statement by saying the good role models aren't as easily viewed as the bad ones.  Every magazine one the stands at the grocery checkout have a headline about losing weight, sexy styles for summer, makeovers or all of the above.  Magazines -- and not just fashion magazines -- are obsessed with women's appearance.  And as a rule, that appearance, according to the world, should be as sexy as possible.

Years ago, there was an ad for a woman's cigarette that said, "We've come a long way, baby!"  But have we?  Have we really?  From women being respected and cherished by their husbands as instructed in Ephesians 5:28 - 30, to a time when women are encouraged to freely display their bodies to strangers?  I suppose that is a long way to go, but is that the direction we wanted to take?

As the mother of a teenage son, I am also aware of the "long way" we've come.  On a daily basis, my husband and son are subjected to numerous visual challenges and temptations.  Is this what women wanted for themselves, to become stumbling blocks to men?

The world accuses the people of God of being backward or behind the times.  I challenge that.  I say, the women of God have as examples women like Deborah, who told Barak she'd go to battle with him, but that God would give the battle to a woman (Judges 4).  The women of God have as example women like Rahab, who literally risked her life for the Lord; she was rewarded not only with the lives of herself and her family (Joshua 6:25), but the greater reward of being included in the genealogy of Christ (Matthew 1:5)!  We have as example Lydia, who was a business owner (Acts 16:14), long before women came to be considered chattel.

I could go on with numerous examples of strong, capable women of God.  But until the world sees not how far we've come, but how far we've gone, these examples will fall on deaf ears.  I can only pray, and continue to point my daughter toward strong, godly women in the Bible and in her life as role models.

Following the Rules

I have to admit, I sometimes question rules.  It's not that I question authority, not at all.  If someone who has authority gives me an order, or tells me about a rule, I'm going to obey.  But I'm the kind of person who wants to know why that rule is in place.  Is it for safety's sake?  Is it based on efficiency?  Is it part of a bigger picture?  Or is it just because "that's the way we've always done it"?  I just like to understand why I'm doing something a certain way.

I don't always like to follow the rules, especially those I don't understand.  Again, it's not so much about questioning authority as just wanting to know the reason behind a certain rule.  And yes, I am a bit of a free spirit.

But even I understand that I can't question God's rules.  Oh, sure, I can ask someone more knowledgeable than I am to help me understand them.  I believe that kind of questioning is not only acceptable, but should be expected of all Christians (Acts 17:10 - 12).  But I still need to follow His rules, whether I understand them or not.

So it gives me a certain sense of peace to realize, it all boils down to one thing:  Be like Jesus.  I don't see as many WWJD bracelets as I used to, and it makes me a little sad, because how much easier can we make things?  Have a choice to make?  What would Jesus do?  Receive an invitation to a party where the parents are absent?  What would Jesus do? I know it's not always easy, I'm not saying that.  I just think it makes our lives a little easier if we ask ourselves that question.

“I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I set your rules before me.” (Psalm 119:30)